Dog Day

Every 4th of July at Coney Island's legendary Nathan's Hot Dogs they hold the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on Surf and Stilwell in Brooklyn. I've always been pretty fascinated by eating competitions. Its utterly ridiculous that they are broadcast on ESPN as a "sport" (but I feel the same way about Poker). But there is something seriously bizarre about people who force their stomachs to the limits by eating massive quantities of food as quickly as possible. So I watch it. Every year. The broadcast is full with sports announcing cliche's and comparisons to other sports. "It's a game of fractions", "this is like 4th and inches", "true competitor's spirit" and "who wanted it more" were some of my favorites from this year. So, the competition is to see who can eat the most cooked hot dogs, with buns, in 10 minutes. Last years champ, Joey Chestnut, ate 60 dogs. His only real competitor is Japanese competitive eating pro Kobayashi, who won Nathan's and various other eating contests (eggs, noodles, pie) for like the prior 10 years. This year, for The Mustard Belt,Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi TIED at 65 dogs. It was a photo finish!So what's the tie breaker? Who can eat 5 dogs the quickest. Joey took Kobayashi out in the sudden death overtime in truly disgusting form. Next year I want to be there in person. I say that every year. Dart, we gotta roll.
Editor's note: this entire entry is hereby "paused."